I feel my life slipping away and quite honestly, I'm quite content with that. I used to care about things, I used to care about people. Now, I'd much rather coup myself up all day watching Dexter, trying to escape the realities of my own life. If I do go out, it's just so I can appear normal so no one would ask me stupid questions like "what's wrong with you?". I have no answer to that question. Everything's wrong. I feel the world passing me by, like everything's in fast forward, and I'm stuck on pause. Jason mentioned that I wasn't the same anymore, like my body was present, but everything else was gone. I know exactly what he's talking about cause that's exactly what it is. I can no longer hold decent conversations so I pretend to play with my phone. Open twitter, close twitter, open facebook, close facebook. Again, to seem normal. I have no energy to play with my nephews cause 1) I have such disturbed sleep, I might as well not sleep at all , but again, I try to seem normal 2) My mind is working on over-drive. Problems after problems running through my head ALL. THE. TIME. I have barely enough strength to get by each day let alone chase after 2 overactive kids.
I'm so tired.
I wish this would just end.
No comments:
Post a Comment